After drinking a cup of Miralax the other night, I sank further into my tub and let the lukewarm bathwater cover chest. I felt the strangest thing; I believe it was serenity.
The thing is, I noticed there a major problem with serenity: a total lack of action.
It was then that I further realized that serenity or peace does not actually equal happiness. Have you ever kidney punched a man in line because he couldn't make up his mind between ham or sausage McMuffins? Tom Cruise is right, there are better alternatives to anti-depressants.
The truth is we don't need serenity, we need a moderate dose of chaos with a few moments of reprieve. That's why rollercoasters and glory holes are so great.
So here is your chance to change your ways. Don't seek peace, seek action. Shake up some jerk's day by grabbing his crotch and singing, "Larger Than Life" and I promise you this: everything you ever wished for in life will be real. And you'll kill less brain cells than you would with crack.
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1 comments:
Let the crotch grabbing begin!!
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