Adventures in Video Gaming: MMBN6 Continued!

Previously in Battle Network Lan moved from his home town to Cyber City. His father is working on the new Next-Gen network for the Mayor of Cyber City (yeah, yeah, I missed that important detail, well now you know so lay off). Lan quickly makes friends with Troll-Boy who nearly annhialates everyone in school in order to scare Lan.

And things just keep getting better. . .

Alright, I need to add just a tad more exposition. Apparently everyone in this colorful world has a Navi, which is a little man that lives inside them that travels along the internet. The internet is a physical place. No longer is it used to exchange ideas, files, and enjoying the occassional smut; but rather it is now completely worthless. A person "jacks in" to the internet and using the Navi (which are somehow sentient) kills endless waves of viruses. By the way, the jacking in process apparently requires some sort of judo-chop and a leap into the air.

So, anyway, Mega Man is Lan's Navi. And with that out of the way, on to our story.

There's a quick scene where Lan's father is talking to the principal of Lan's school who happens to be the Mayor, and also happens to have a mustache like Snidely Whiplash. Lan's father has the new program that will help integrate the internet and the real world, but is cautious about it falling into evil hands. Given the Mayor's mustache, I have a feeling that those hands might be closer than Lan's stupid father thinks.

The day after Lan saves the school from Troll-Boy's rogue Navi, Troll-Boy walks into school with an emporor penguin. It seems that the penguin, like Lan, took an immediate and inexplicable liking to Troll-Boy. No matter how hard Troll-Boy tries (mostly by just standing in place and whining) the penguin will not leave his side. Eventually the penguin starts getting irate and hungry and it's up to Lan to feed him.

Since Lan is an idiot, and the biology teacher is too busy to say "fish," Lan has to run around the whole school to find the teacher's assistant to find out that penguins eat fish. Once he learns that obscure fact he seeks to find Troll-Boy's grandfather who just happens to be returning from fishing. Sadly, things get worse before they get better. Grandad's cooler will not open, it's hampered by a virus.

Alright, that's just going too far! Why not get an Igloo brand plastic cooler and two bags of ice, old man? Isn't that more your speed? How the hell does a cooler get infected anyway? Why would it need to be hooked up to the internet?

To no one's astonishment, however, Mega Man defeats the viruses and Lan is able to save the penguin from starvation and Lan and Troll-Boy decide to find out where he belongs by searching the net. When Mega Man arrives to the Seaside portal area of the net, he finds the way impeded by a puddle of water caused by leaky pipes. What pipes are doing on the internet is anyone's guess, but hell, in the same room is a Christmas Tree and an enormous pink cloud, so who am I to ask?

Mega Man finds a repairman, but the idiot has lost his tool and cannot repair the pipe. He mentions he may have left it in the network of a home that he was working on earlier. Coincidentally, Lan's mom is suffering from a broken toilet. In order to help his mother, Lan jacks in the toilet--oh yeah, best game ever.

Viruses defeated, Mega Man finds a cyber-plunger and returns it to the repair man who is somehow able to fix pipes with a plunger. The deadly obstacle now cleared, MegaMan is free to enter the Seaside area.

It is here that Mega Man and Lan learn that penguins, when not residing in the south pole, generally tend to hang out at aquariums. Lan rushes to find Troll Boy and the leave on the bus (flying bus!) to return the penguin to his rightful home.

More to come as I figure out what the hell any of this has to do with anything.