The old saying goes: Dawn takes grease out of your way. I think Proctor and Gamble is underestimating their product. Dawn goes so much further than that. Don't believe me? Purchase a bottle of Dawn and then purchase a bottle of Liquid Joy. No, wait, don't. You should just believe me. I'll even back what I'm saying up with facts.
It's the best and fastest way to clean a pot and/or pan that is caked with lard and chunks of unidentifiable animal tissue.
How has Dawn affected me in my life? Oh, man, it's incalculable. There was the one time I was at Virginia beach and got caught by an undertow. I felt a hand grab on to my forearm and helped pull me out. I looked up and all I saw was a bottle of Dawn.
Then there was the time that I was in Basic Training feeling a bit down. I was missing my family, friends, and contemplating how I could plant the roots for a totalitarian government. At that precise moment I found a bottle of Dawn and a smile slowly formed on my face and I was thinking about unicorns and butterflies again.
Think about all the times in your life when Dawn has helped you: The final inning of the big little league game when your team needed a grand slam to win; during your wedding when you dropped the ring down the bride's dress; and the time where you ejaculated prematurely.
Life is short people, don't fuck it up by using the wrong dish soap.
5 comments:
Butterflies are an evil root planted by the government! If Dawn made you think of butterflies, I shall never buy it again!!
Butterflies may be disgusting insects that are camoflauged by pretty wings, but they are hardly tools of the government. I believe you are confusing butterflies with supermodels. There's a distinct difference.
Dawn killed my unborn child.
How, you ask?
One time I spilled it on my crotch.
There were no survivors.
Fascinating point, Karl, especially coming from someone who washes his dishes in bleach!
Post a Comment